So! I bet you're wondering who won ScavHunt? I'll tell you right now, I won ScavHunt. Not in terms of points, perhaps. But if I didn't have one of the best weekends of my life, I'll eat even more of my shoe.
That's so true. But also, we're still judging in our hearts. Also, in the library. Mostly in the library. Using pressure waves. Because that's how we roll. In the library.
Things I saw that were awesome! That dude that turned an envelope inside out in, like, twenty-five seconds. Every single doublepipe: especially that Dr. Seuss-looking one made out of a bedpost. Cakes! I totally ate an elephant in one bite! And nearly choked to death! Thank goodness we had been instructed in the Heimlich maneuver. Feather guns! Bra bombs! Like, the entire FIST team turning envelopes around on every side of me. Tasting my shoe. Watching X! eat his shoe. And swords! By the Stairmaster, the swords! How many of you now have swordforging as a new hobby? At least one. And that's pretty much the best. How many of you are going to spend the rest of this year perfecting your Zeusophones? I think a few. And that's pretty much the best thing ever. How many of you won ScavHunt? If you're anything like me, all of you. And that's pretty much the best thing ever. Good.
No, but seriously, we'll announce the winners in like, forty minutes.