Saturday, May 10, 2008

This spring I don't know how I survived

I woke up still on fire!

Or rather, I woke up to ridiculously destructive breakfasts. I ate, like, three pounds of bundt on Thursday. I weighed myself later just to be sure. Nobody took the easy route on the 4*r^3*pi-zza, and we ended with a wide variety of styles. And good morning, burgers! By my boots and hair, if those weren't the tastiest burgers I've ever eaten. I mean, I used to work the graveyard shift at a Denny's, I could literally put anything on a burger or in a milkshake, and barely even got close to what I ate yesterday off the ground with a plastic spork. Also, coffee that tastes like jellybeans? Homiesaywhaaaaaaat? I mean, seriously.

Some of you may realize that I was not actively 'judging' anything during the parties, but the few nachos I sampled were not just macho, not merely machismo-er, but in fact machismost. Not in the realm of Iron Chef, many teams also had refreshments that made me jump with joy. Well, actually, eat with joy. Or in a few cases, with reckless abandon. I mean, hardtack? I love hardtack! Also swedish fish, and jell-O, and... jell-O containing swedish fish? Yeah!

Can we candy? YES WE CAN! Can we cola? Also, yes. I continued to go back for cups of pop throughout the Olympics. All the mock'n'm's were solid, and I don't just mean as opposed to liquid (though that was also important). Not a meal, but the perfect thing to spoil one with. Which brings us to supper.

Oh my pants, supper. We are all still arguing about what in the smorgasbord was most delicious, beautiful, and innovative. After seeing the options, I sat down and tried with all my might to get hungrier. If I could have gone back in time and stopped myself from eating anything else today, I totally would have. I mean, I'm running out of ways to say you guys rocked everything you put your hands, pans, and whisks to; but understand, it's not because I'm anywhere near running out of admiration. You are all my heros, the kind of heros I would hire to follow me around and cook every one of my meals for all time.

Someday, when I'm shamefully rich, my friends. Someday.